Trauma is irreversible, how it shapes you depends on your strength. No one has the right to attack your body, when you are pushed into the dark space of sexual abuse, molestation or rape your body retaliates. Your body is no more your own, you hand it over to fear and mistrust. The trauma is so deep that you shut yourself and refuse to acknowledge the pain. Talking about sexual abuse is a part of the healing process, in fact when a woman shares her story is when she is strong enough to deal with it. It could take years, you pass through different stages of your life but your secret is never revealed.
Women are trying to reclaim their bodies by talking about sexual abuse. There are young girls amongst us who are mourning within, they are ashamed because they are made to believe that abuse was their fault. These powerful short stories are shared by 30ish readers, they are highly accomplished and are doing well in their respective fields. Reading these stories will make you uncomfortable, they might push you into a dark alley of your own mind. My only request would be to let it go, and if you still have access to that man go and punch him hard till he bleeds. Reclaim your boy, reclaim your peace.
Age – 11 years
I was a healthy kid, I looked much older than my age which made me more vulnerable to unwanted attention. It was my fault, I was a 34B at 11 and he thought that I was ready. Ready to be unwrapped and used. I feared my own body, every time he touched, I shut myself from the world. He showed me a elastic ballon, “see I love you and thats why we will do it with a condom”. His love broke me, he was 17 and my first boy friend.
School reopens on 7th June
Age – 9 years
“ I was in the 4th grade, it was my last day of school. The excitement of summer vacations was at its peak but I fell asleep on the last seat of my school bus. I woke up with the feeling of someones mouth on mine and the horror gripped me for life, it was my bus conductor. He said I will miss you when you are away now that schools are shut, 7th June is 2 months away.
I hate maths
Age – 5 years
He said it was a secret game which we played every time my mother dropped me to the tuition class. He told me maths is tough, you will fail but if we learn it this way I will make sure you pass. 2*2 = 4, 2*3 = 6. Every time I gave the right answer he moved an inch closer and touched. Numbers trigger fear, even today I stammer every time I count.
The adult healing takes 3 steps remembering, mourning and the healing. We want more women to talk about the trauma without feeling weak and vulnerable. True shakti is disruptive, I urge you to be bold. Your body is not an invitation and that should be loud and clear.